Passport Application

Dear Mr. Minister,I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knowsthat I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the FederalGovernment is still asking me where I was born and on what date.For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all theincome tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my healthinsurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passportsI've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill outbefore being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all thoseinsufferable census forms that are done at election times.Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name isMaryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if thatever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!SHIT!I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between youan' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to myhouse, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have agang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there!Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig upYasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandybeach.And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I planon visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to dosomething weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell notwant to tell anyone!Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city andget another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot toassist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have usrunning all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off,then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture- you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin' morons)Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone toconfirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have servedin the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearancesup the yingyang.I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten yearsand I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA !!!